It's time for us to give you the unadultered truth on what's cool and layyyyyyyme in Coolopolis.
FROSTY - Men dressing like bums. Short pants. Sleeveless shirts? On the beach only please. Men who don't wear ties when they should. Neck tattoos.
SIZZLIN' - Female cleavage. Uber efficient bra technology be damned, we pine for the 70s.
FROSTY- bad signal to noise ratios. People with nothing to say banging out 2,000 words, (hello internet experts, including marketing and spam experts) please stop trying to explain nonsense.
SIZZLIN' - Independent journalists. These writers are freed of editorial oppression and advertiser influence.
FROSTY - Montreal Canadiens. Unlike last year's flood of new faces, this years edition will be an aging letdown, people forget that pre-Xmas hockey is unimportant.
SIZZLIN' - St Anne de Bellevue and the main drag. After a facelift and a groovy pediestrian/bike/skateboard ramp up to the top this area is hopping in the summer. Great parking too.
FROSTY - Verdun, specifically East Verdun. poorly run, poorly planned, gas stations everywhere, indifference to democracy, desperate place full of folksy liars, hookers and crackheads.
SIZZLIN' -QQQ Industries' patent pending memory goggles allow people to record everything they witness. Only that person can watch the playback as the retinal scan is required for viewing within the lens, to avoid legal issues.
FROSTY - Pit bulls and other large dogs. Big dogs are worse than guns because with a gun someone has to pull the trigger, when a big dog attacks the owner wriggles off the hook by claiming that they don't usually do such things.
SIZZIN' - Vintage crime reporting. The Allo Police has gone, the Photo is barely alive and, the police divulge little and soccer moms get work the crime beat. Crime reporting from the past never looked so good.
FROSTY - Westmount mayor Peter Trent. Grumpily turning down the bixi and Glen access to the superhospital site isn't exactly a triumphant return to politics and puts the lie to the anti-megacity arguments.
SIZZLIN'- The Newfoundland - Labrador causeway. If this sucker ever gets built our region will enjoy milder weather.
FROSTY - Andre Dawson. Not only would this guy strike out in every clutch situation, he bit the hand that grew him as other teams had overlooked him well into the draft. Sucking up to Chicago might mean a few extra gigs but there are better ways to handle these things. He also now looks like Frankenstein.
SIZZLIN' -The CFL. Talk of expansion to Quebec, new stadium in Vancouver and one upcoming in Hamilton, it's a little exciting.
FROSTY - Mtl tennis coverage. Our local reporter's petty print vendettas against certain tennis stars might have perennially cost fans the chance to see some of the top players.
SIZZLIN'- The Turcot Interchange. Fix it and save it. She's a beaut.
FROSTY - The new Pine-Park Interchange. What a letdown. Makes downtown look like the prairies.
Yours?